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- Chuck Norris can sink a hole in none!
- Chuck Norris and Mr. T walk into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, because you can't hold that much epicness in one building
- Chuck Norris abducts aliens
- Chuck Norris beat Rocky Balboa
- Chuck Norris put the "chuck" in nunchuckus
- Chuck Norris sings the Alphabet song in any order
- Chuck Norris once watched Chris Angel levitate. He then laughed and flew away
- Chuck Norris pees Adamantium
- Chuck Norris released 3 studio albums with a 12 man band...by HIMSELF
- At the age of 17, Chuck Norris was fired from his job in a car factory because he roundhouse-kicked a car in half
- When raining, Chuck Norris doesn't need an umbrella, he can dodge the raindrops
- 'Round here we only use Chuck Norris toilet paper; rough, tough, and don't take crap from no one!
- When Chuck Norris gets bitten by a zombie, he doesn't turn into a zombie, the zombie turns into a Chuck Norris
- Chuck Norris can divide by zero
- Chuck Norris can swim on land
- Chuck Norris started his own business. President Obama 100% acknowledges that Chuck Norris DID build that